I feel more and more disconnected from this world. One day, I’m going to renounce everything and go live in the jungles.

No related posts.

I shall never forget that night. Never shall I forget what you taught me without even trying to teach me anything. I felt like I knew it all but got all nervous when it hit me. Life knows how to give you reality checks.

Untaught Lessons.

Related posts:

1. That’s the way life is ! Just like that, I got reminded of this song...
2. Need to be more careful… I must not get attached to people. In the...
3. Others’ things on my mind It’s 12.30 AM. I’m in bed and not in...

It’s 12.30 AM. I’m in bed and not in a particularly good mood. I sit here, whiling away time and my mind wanders off somewhere. I do not daydream. I do not try to simply pass my time. I question. I question what happens to people. I question their fate.

I rarely find myself thinking about MYSELF. For the better part of the day, I am absorbed in my own thoughts. In these moments, I turn into a philosopher, a poet, a scientist… It’s like a flurry of emotions that take over my mind. I see what happens to people and try to analyze their situations. I do not merely wish to sympathize… I wish to empathize. In this weird pursuit of mine, I find myself imagining myself drowning in the sea, just like that young boy did. I imagine I’m his mother, sobbing at night, under the cover of darkness. I imagine I’m his brother who wishes he could tell him how much he loved him. I imagine I’m his girlfriend, cursing myself for fighting with him, one day before he was gobbled up by the unrelenting ocean.

It is a very unique feeling, to be able to put yourself in someone else’s shoes without even wearing them. My heart beats, as if it’s theirs. And all of this has evolved over a period of 10 years. I clearly remember myself, laughing heartlessly at situations which demanded respect. But there has been a complete metamorphosis.

This is when the queries arise. I keep thinking, keep trying to find answers to questions, which in the very first place are not even meant for me and in all probability do not serve any worthwhile cause. I cannot seem to let go of certain things. Things that are completely unrelated to me. Things that I strangely feel I’m a part of. Things that I feel I must take charge of and steer into a more promising direction. It has probably been only once, that I have succeeded in achieving this or so I thought. Life outsmarted me again and I feel like a frustrated, desperate soul, trying to find a way back to the intended path. It seems impossible. I know it is somewhere around the corner but that corner eludes me. I feel I’m moving in an elliptical path or maybe a circular well of death. I tried to be God. But I’m not. But I won’t stop trying.

To the brother of the boy who drowned, I feel I lost a brother too. I’m not exaggerating. I felt like this the day I got the news and still feel the same.

To the mother of the girl who died after her friends played a prank on her, I feel like I lost my own daughter.

I may not be able to make your lives better and these words may not provide you with any comfort. Maybe I’m wasting my time thinking about how to correctly fit the pieces of YOUR jigsaw puzzle. But somewhere deep inside, I know this exercise that my brain takes, will benefit me. How? I do not know and I do not even wish to try and find an answer to it. I have others’ things on my mind.
God bless you all.

Related posts:

1. Bad death… So Pramod Mahajan passed away today after battling it...
2. Dasvidaniya “What’s the point in going to Goa when our...
3. I feel good It’s amazing how you can speak right to my...

“What’s the point in going to Goa when our parents would keep worrying?”

That is what my sister tells me was told to her by her friend and colleague when he last spoke to her last, informing her about the trip they had planned for Christmas and New Year. Sadly, he along with two more friends drowned in the sea. Trying to avoid any possible threat of terrorists in Goa, they went to Ratnagiri which is more secluded.

Three lives lost. Three friends lost. Three sons dead. Countless hearts broken. As I sit here and go through their individual scrapbooks on Orkut and their blogs, I cannot help but wonder what they did to deserve this.

Their blogs and profiles and there for the world to see and be amazed at the uncertainity of life. You navigate to the previous page and there are scraps wishing them a merry xmas. Suddenly, the mood changes. There are no happy messages anymore. When I see my sister cry, I feel like crying myself. I have never spoken to them, never seen them. But just looking at the situation and what remains of them online and offline, moves me. I really don’t know what the policy of Google is in regard to profiles of members who passed away but I really wish Google preserves these profiles and blogs – for their friends, their families…

The day the trio drowned, Garima tells me she dreamt of herself with another friend who was present in Ratnagiri. Abhinav and Garima are laughing, laughing like crazy. Suddenly, they start wailing. Crying.

I sign off with a lump in my throat. May you three rest in peace. And may peace be upon the near and dear one’s. The void shall remain but God will give you strength.

Here’s a blog set up by one of their friends as a tribute.

Related posts:

1. Mixed Feelings My sister cleared a very important test today. She...
2. Others’ things on my mind It’s 12.30 AM. I’m in bed and not in...
3. R.I.P. September 9th, 2008 : The day You left us....

I know I’m being a bit harsh here, but the previous post just nudged me on to write some more. Who is a wannabe? Wikipedia tells me that:

A Wannabe (pronounced “Won-ah-bee”) is a person who imitates or emulates another

You ask me, how is that a crime? People emulate others and that is how one’s personality evolves, right? WRONG! People learn from others and incorporate what they see fit into their own personality and lifestyle. They add a touch of their own to what they acquire from others. Even though, it is far from being original, it is what is acceptable.

Wannabes on the other hand have the sheep mentality. They follow and copy someone, or a trend blindly. Usually wannabes are harmless but as their copycat ways continue, they can take a turn for the worse and might try to beat the original trendsetter at any cost.

Symptoms of a wannabe :

1. During the initial phase, they are basically just nobody’s with no standing in the crowd.
2. They have a strong desire to learn from you and adopt.
   You got yourself a new pair of jeans and an hour later you see the wannabe with the same pair.
3. They have a special place in their brain to store whatever you say and seem to remember things long forgotten.
4. They are usually good listeners.
   They listen to you and your stories with such deep concentration that you get pumped to spit out more and more and more!
5. They are clever at making stories.
   Clever is an understatement here. The stories that you narrated in the previous stage will now come back to haunt you. You suddenly realise that whatever you told them, is now being rebranded and narrated to others as if it had happened to the wannabe himself. So, your plan of telling your friends that real life horror story of yours at the next get together goes down the drain.
6. They are jealous.
   The sooner you realise this, the better. Wannabes are jealous. They are jealous of where you stand amongst your peers, of what you have achieved and what you are.
7. They start teaching you.
   This comes a bit late but you are sure to arrive at this stage at one point of time or the other. The wannabe still considers you the guru but will now often cut your words to correct you. They’ll try to act all cool in front of others and will now narrate stories to you in a bid to show the rest of the crowd that they are now incharge.
8. They become your clones.
   Sadly, after the 7th stage, this is inevitable. You begin to see more and more of yourself in the wannabe. The way the wannabe talks to his sense of style. Everything seems to be a direct xerox copy of your own life. You want to stop this and take situation under your control but you fail.

Once they reach the 8th stage, it is usually impossible to reverse the trend. The wannabe is now armed and dangerous so you must proceed with utmost caution. The best way is to let the wannabe be until he tries to harm you in any way. That’s what I had done. But if the wannabe crosses that fine line and tries to act over smart, then don’t just stand there. That is the time when you must turn nasty yourself and prepare to eliminate the monster that you had yourself help create.

Slowly, bring out the truth in front of the others. Since the wannabe is usually a jealous retard who is heavily complexed, you do not have to try too hard. When the wannabe is confronted with the truth, he will always be defensive or will outrightly deny what you’re saying. The former is what usually holds true in my experience. The trick is to push the wannabe on the backfoot without making it too apparent to the rest of the world. You do not want everybody else to be thinking of you in the same way as you think of the wannabe.

You will begin to see the wannabe expose himself to others. You must strike hard and you must strike when it is abso-fucking-lutely hot! The moment you see him expose his true wannabe self, fire another round of fresh facts at him. Make him come face-to-face with the fact that he is a wannabe. Make sure that you prolong this process over a period of a few weeks or even months so that the world gets ample time to see the true colours. But keep in mind that people are selfish and bitchy. They will always try to take advantage of this animosity between you and the wannabe. The only rule to follow is that you have no friends here. You must only state the facts. No fiction allowed here or that might get you into trouble. State only those facts which you can easily counter in case the wannabe decides to confront you.

If you are smart and cautious enough, you can easily kill the wannabe. They have low self esteem and know whatever they have is acquired. Since they do not have originality they are perplexed by the situation and usually falter. So, just take it slow. Be careful that you do not become the villian. Paint your picture in such a way that it is the wannabe who is ridiculed.

And the most important point that you must remember. You do not have to destroy the wannabe yourself. You have to trigger his death. He will kill himself and will decay into oblivion. Be the trigger and not the bullet. Do not be at the forefront. Instead, guide the wannabe downhill from behind.

This post is dedicated to you “S“. Had you not rubbed me the wrong way, we would still have been friends. Your actions forced me to take concrete steps.

And all of you who actually read through this rubbish, everything written above is tried, tested and experienced. All thanks to S.

No related posts.

…”Aap bari ho”…

…FINALLY!

No related posts.

… a lot …

No related posts.

Somebody… anybody… you…

Related posts:

1. It’s never too late… I flunked in three exams in the first sem....
2. GMD… Well I just heard this awesome track. Excellent vocals,...

Its a little peculiar and I’ve only recently noticed this – I enjoy sadness. I like getting depressed. I like to have that pain shoot up inside of me. I like the feeling when my head gets so heavy that tears just trickle out of my eyes. I don’t know what to make of this condition because overall I’m quite happy and satisfied with my life. In fact, life’s never felt better and the future’s never looked so promising.

Then why do I find myself constantly listening to sad and depressing songs, watching movies that make me wanna cry (yes CRY!)… It’s beyond my reasoning. I’m not troubled by this recent revelation but I’m so fucking curious to find out the reason behind all this.

On my playlist : Seether – Waste.

Related posts:

1. Late Night Movie I was awfully bored since the last couple of...
2. It’s never too late… I flunked in three exams in the first sem....
3. D(h)oom-ed 2 Part 2 This has to be the best review of Dhoom...

People are outside… partying… somehow this New Year scares me…

Anyways, Happy New Year… hopefully.

Related posts:

1. From crappy to happy Last Monday, the 18th was probably the saddest day...
2. Me likes sadness Its a little peculiar and I’ve only recently noticed...
3. Wanted, preferably dead! Abhit, you asshole!! Kamine, you had to try that...

…and every Indian is celebrating as if they won a lottery.

So India finally did it!! Against all odds, India finally managed to win the Twenty20 World Cup. Yes, a World Cup… that’s quite an achievement for our team. Sreesanth probably took the most memorable catch of his life. Harbhajan bowled one of the worst overs ever. Joginder Sharma was his normal crappy self as always. But we won.

The whole of Chandigarh celebrated. People dancing. Roads jammed… guys on roof of cars… dancing… the police failing miserably to control them. Rickshaw pullers, daily wagers on their bicycles… howling. Foreigners busy clicking pictures of kids sitting on the windows of their cars. TV reporters following insane fans on scooters. This was the scene in Chandigarh.

I don’t wish to write anymore. I have my exam tomorrow and I haven’t studied a word. I’ll leave you with a video of people celebrating inside (and outside) Café Coffee Day, Sector 35, Chandigarh. Truly amazing. Wonder what’s there in cricket that unites every Indian. Maybe it was the fact that we beat Pakistan!! JAI HIND!!

EDIT : Check out the condensation and water droplets falling from the AC vents. Might give you an idea of how hot (and crowded) it was in there!! Fun, nevertheless… better than watching at the stadium.

Related posts:

1. A Picture Says More Than A Thousand Words I had my last sessional today. I’m gonna pass...
2. Hi, I’m a fake! This is what I hear these days when I...
3. Morni getaway… Date : 30/06/2006 Time : 3.35 PM Scene 1...

I flunked in three exams in the first sem. I cleared all of them. Only one remains which is a mass repeat. Will hopefully clear that exam as well.
A lesson that I learnt was that it’s never to late to correct what went wrong. Better than crying and committing suicide.

Currently listening to :
Three Days Grace – Never Too Late

Related posts:

1. Mixed Feelings My sister cleared a very important test today. She...
2. Late Night Movie I was awfully bored since the last couple of...
3. Late reaction I was just listening to a couple of old...

Love… Humbles you… grounds you…

Related posts:

1. DUMB : Paid Preview of Love Story 2050 Oh my God!! This is so epic! They are...
2. Hazam Sab, Chahe Jab Hajmola… Yummmmmmmmmm…. Ever since I was a kid, I’ve...
3. That’s the way life is ! Just like that, I got reminded of this song...

Finally I’m back on the blog.

A lot has happened since my last post and even before it but I didn’t get time to write it down.

I bought a new phone, a Nokia N73 Music Edition. One beautiful gadget it is. My sister got married. I’ll put up some pictures soon. My college attendance touched an all time low. I met with a very deadly road accident; nothing serious happened to me but could have. Lets say I was a little lucky this time, escaped unhurt.

But there were fun times too. I spent a great deal of time with my girl, meeting up with her almost everyday. But then there were fights with her too.

And I think something’s happened to me, I get very tired towards the end of the day almost everyday which caused a lot of mood swings and thus causing a lot of fights with lotsa people.

I’m hating myself at the moment but I don’t know what else to do.

Related posts:

1. Rahul doesn’t know a thing So I told this girl that I like her...
2. Clarification Stupid but still needed. Some people have been jumping...
3. Manmohan Singh invites hotties home! Now here’s a hilarious piece of news… Security Breach...

Ummm… I guess something is wrong with me. I say something, people hear something else. Causing too many misunderstandings.
No one’s ready to listen to my side of the story. They just get angry.

Better go kill myself.

Related posts:

1. Anger I am lying on my bed at the moment....
2. From crappy to happy Last Monday, the 18th was probably the saddest day...
3. Not ALWAYS I maybe wrong the majority of times but I...

Sorry for all the confusion. You guys can ignore the previous clarification now. The rumours turned out to be true . I am quite surprised myself. The truth came out on the 21st of January.

If you can’t understand this post, ignore and go do your chores.

Related posts:

1. Clarification Stupid but still needed. Some people have been jumping...
2. “Low Rise” trouble… So we bunked our final lecture (Chemistry) because its...
3. My blue boots still have it… Beckham with his blue boots scored a seemingly impossible...

Yummy!

Related posts:

1. Abhit apologizes… I was in demand yesterday!! Khanna messaged me and...
2. A Picture Says More Than A Thousand Words I had my last sessional today. I’m gonna pass...
3. OK. TATA. Bye Bye. So before Arjun a.k.a Paaji went back to Banglore,...

This is what I hear these days when I talk to my peers. Now you must be thinking how in the world is that possible? Does my ear decode the audio frequencies in some different way? No!

Don’t you get it, its just the accent. I still haven’t been able to find out from where do people these days pick up the British, American or even the Australian accent. I know for sure that they haven’t been abroad. Maybe they picked it up at the airport while simply interacting with some foreigner.

Come on! Big deal. You can’t speak in English fluently, you can’t pronounce some words correctly… big shit. You can still eat, breathe and shit. Yay! Why pretend? Why be a fake?

Why is everyone so obsessed with talking in English these days? OK, why is my blog not in Hindi? Ummm… don’t know! Back to the topic, why do people feel that they need to constantly blabber some words in a foreign language just to look hip? Does swearing in a foreign language not count as a swear? Is it somewhat more sophisticated to use the F word instead of BC or MC?

“Oh yes! Words like Fuck, Damn, Crap, Shit sound so ultra cool!! They make me look so chic. I easily blend in with the others. People want to talk to me then. If I talk in Hindi or if I abuse in Hindi or Punjabi, I’ll be treated like a outcast.”

Some of you may think I’m exaggerating. I’m not. I’ve seen people transform over the years, lose their own identity and individuality and turn into some sort of repulsive fakes. Just a few months ago, one of my friends left Chandigarh to study engineering in some different part of the country. He came back and there was a visible change. Some for the better but mainly for the worse. He too had turned into some sort of a fake. He kept telling me how he found Hindi movies and Hindi music so boring and that he would never touch anything except for English movies and music. It was amusing. I couldn’t laugh in his face but I chuckled inside. Here was a guy, standing in front of me, who a few months back would listen to the desiest punjabi tracks. And now, he pretended as if he’d heard nothing but Pink Floyd, Linkin Park etc. since birth. Wait a minute, Linkin Park didn’t even exist back then !

I switch on the TV and all I see are the celebs with their fake accents, the kids on reality shows with their fake hip attitudes. I go to a café or a restaurant and there they are again with their fake accents and fake attitudes. Or is it me? Maybe I am a low-life, a loser. What the fuck, I have the freedom to be me.

I am not saying that talking in English is bad. Its great. But pretending to be something or someone you aren’t is something I really don’t admire. Deep inside, everyone has the urge to shed that fake mask, the fake style and let loose, to just take their hands down and scratch their butts , to make mistakes and just not be the sophisticated, English blabbering freaks. But then, you got hundreds of wannabes who are willing to scratch your butt for you!! Way to go!

Related posts:

1. I h8 Linkin Park! Well the title can be a lil’ misleading. I...
2. Lets see if this works राहुल सरीन एक बहुत ही बढ़िया इंसान है। OK…...
3. When your brain starts to crinkle… I seriously don’t know what to do. People have...

So Saddam Hussein is dead… hanged… executed.

I won’t say I’m happy. OK, the guy was a fuckin’ loser, a tyrant. But the manner in which he was executed, the haste that was shown by the authorities, the date of execution and the manner in which he was executed is definitely questionable.

It was like they were tyring to make a mockery out of his death. But I think that has totally backfired. Who in the right mind would order video filming an execution and then airing it across the whole world? I mean, there are children out there. Some children even imitated the execution and died. And then there was the leaked mobile video shot by someone which clearly shows guards taunting Saddam. Now that is what I call stopping to a whole new level!!

Why the whole drama of the trial? Why try and act fair? Why didn’t America put a bullet to his head in the underground bunker they found him in when everybody knew he was gonna be killed. I am in no way against Saddam’s execution – he got what he deserved. But the way the whole trial was carried out was like everything was going according to some pre-written script. A script that was written by none other than George W Bush. It was not about the weapons. It was about Saddam. It was a battle of egos and was surely not a battle for peace. Since when did battles bring peace anyway!? See, its so stupid and confusing that I’m contradicting myself.

But whatever happened was wrong. America has successfully destroyed two countries only to fulfill their own selfish interests. It was never about the so-called weapons of mass destruction – they never found any. It all seeped down to oil. It all boiled down to an old personal feud. Sick!!

Now all the american companies are entering Iraq and Afghanistan in an effort to rebuild the nations. Yeah right! A nice excuse to bring business home Mr. Bush!!

America has just climbed upto the top of the hitlist of all the terrorist organisations now, I’m sure. And this will not spell trouble for just America but for other countries as well. For example, take India. Nepal, Sri Lanka, Myanmar, Pakistan.. our next-door neighbours are nothing but hiding places for terrorists. And these ruthless bastards will do nothing but harm India. Why? Because they feel that the whole world is against them. Because the big bully is just not stopping.

Bush and his ass-licking poodle, Tony Blair need to answer a lot of questions. I think its too late for them to make ammends.

They filmed Saddam’s death in an attempt to show the world his end, to show the world that the loser was down and out. But what they didn’t anticipate that this would backfire. Saddam didn’t go down like a tyrant like he should’ve. He died like a hero, a martyr. And now, there are thousands waiting to avenge his death. Thousands waiting to get their hands on a bomb a throw it on America, Britain, India etc. Nice work Georgie. You gave Saddam an advanced birthday gift. You threw him a party, burst crackers and “bombs”… You got him executed. But don’t worry, there are thousands now waiting to give you the “return gift” for attending the party. Just wait and watch.

• Saddam Hussein Execution Uncut Video – Original .3gp mobile video
• The Uncut Saddam Hussein Hanging Video
• Video: Saddam Hussein’s Execution – Hanging Shown
• Video: Saddam’s execution uncut
• Saddam Execution Video (uncensored)
• CNN Translates Saddam Hussein Execution Video
• A Lynching…
• The Money Shot
• Have your kids seen the Saddam Hussein execution video?

Related posts:

1. Imran Khan on George W Bush This is what Imran Khan had to say about...
2. India crowned champions of the world! …and every Indian is celebrating as if they won...
3. What the?!?! Asha and Friends…!!! Asha Bhosle singing with Sanjay Dutt…...

This is from Michael Jackson’s Will You Be There :

But They Told Me
A Man Should Be Faithful
And Walk When Not Able
And Fight Till The End
But I’m Only Human

And human HE was.

God closed all the doors for Gaurav today and called him up there, so that he could make Him laugh and dance too. He passed away, dunno when, dunno how. Just got the news an hour back.

God answered my question in a way but I’m not so thrilled. This totally sucks.

Related posts:

1. When God closes one door does he really open another one? Well, this is in context to a family friend...
2. Bad death… So Pramod Mahajan passed away today after battling it...
3. L.0.v.E – 2… Death Well this is a continuation of my previous post...