...Clueless » Idiot Box

Something just isn’t right here

Uthfull — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 19:01:58 +0000

Before I say a word, I want you to take a quick look at the above advertisement for Hero Honda Passion Pro. Young, fit models, smooth jingle, what could possibly be wrong?! There is one thing that just doesn’t make sense here. They’re trying to portray the dude with the jeep as an arrogant bully and the guy on the bike as a cool, nonchalant hunk. I kind of think it’s the opposite. He overtakes, stops suddenly, turns off the ignition, gets down and admires his bike. Weird. On top of that, the female in the car actually thinks he’s some super cool dude. What the fuck?! The guy on your bike, Hero Honda, is a weirdo!! The woman in the car is desperate!! And I had nothing else to write about. Goodnight.

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Ekta Kapoor is a sick twisted bitch!

Uthfull — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 17:19:37 +0000

I was flipping through the channels while eating dinner tonight when I suddenly noticed Aarushi Talwar’s photograph with people sitting around her body. I looked at the logo of the channel and saw that it was Star Plus.

Then I realised what twisted shit was being aired. It was that stupid soap meant for dumb fucks – Kahaani Ghar Ghar Ki. And Ekta Kapoor proved what a silly fuck she is by dramatizing an issue like this. You made a mockery out of someone’s death. Really shitty. The photograph in question is this :

The colour of the shirt, the pose, the hair style, everything was copied. Made me sick. Ekta Kapoor proves that the Idiot Box is really for idiots. And some equally sick women in this country must be watching that episode and enjoying the vulgarity. God bless the little girl’s soul.

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Mr. Bush… It totally backfired!

Uthfull — Sat, 06 Jan 2007 17:18:22 +0000

So Saddam Hussein is dead… hanged… executed.

I won’t say I’m happy. OK, the guy was a fuckin’ loser, a tyrant. But the manner in which he was executed, the haste that was shown by the authorities, the date of execution and the manner in which he was executed is definitely questionable.

It was like they were tyring to make a mockery out of his death. But I think that has totally backfired. Who in the right mind would order video filming an execution and then airing it across the whole world? I mean, there are children out there. Some children even imitated the execution and died. And then there was the leaked mobile video shot by someone which clearly shows guards taunting Saddam. Now that is what I call stopping to a whole new level!!

Why the whole drama of the trial? Why try and act fair? Why didn’t America put a bullet to his head in the underground bunker they found him in when everybody knew he was gonna be killed. I am in no way against Saddam’s execution – he got what he deserved. But the way the whole trial was carried out was like everything was going according to some pre-written script. A script that was written by none other than George W Bush. It was not about the weapons. It was about Saddam. It was a battle of egos and was surely not a battle for peace. Since when did battles bring peace anyway!? See, its so stupid and confusing that I’m contradicting myself.

But whatever happened was wrong. America has successfully destroyed two countries only to fulfill their own selfish interests. It was never about the so-called weapons of mass destruction – they never found any. It all seeped down to oil. It all boiled down to an old personal feud. Sick!!

Now all the american companies are entering Iraq and Afghanistan in an effort to rebuild the nations. Yeah right! A nice excuse to bring business home Mr. Bush!!

America has just climbed upto the top of the hitlist of all the terrorist organisations now, I’m sure. And this will not spell trouble for just America but for other countries as well. For example, take India. Nepal, Sri Lanka, Myanmar, Pakistan.. our next-door neighbours are nothing but hiding places for terrorists. And these ruthless bastards will do nothing but harm India. Why? Because they feel that the whole world is against them. Because the big bully is just not stopping.

Bush and his ass-licking poodle, Tony Blair need to answer a lot of questions. I think its too late for them to make ammends.

They filmed Saddam’s death in an attempt to show the world his end, to show the world that the loser was down and out. But what they didn’t anticipate that this would backfire. Saddam didn’t go down like a tyrant like he should’ve. He died like a hero, a martyr. And now, there are thousands waiting to avenge his death. Thousands waiting to get their hands on a bomb a throw it on America, Britain, India etc. Nice work Georgie. You gave Saddam an advanced birthday gift. You threw him a party, burst crackers and “bombs”… You got him executed. But don’t worry, there are thousands now waiting to give you the “return gift” for attending the party. Just wait and watch.

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D(h)oom-ed 2 Part 2

Uthfull — Tue, 12 Dec 2006 14:45:49 +0000

This has to be the best review of Dhoom 2.

Check it out.

Waste some buck only if you are a avid Hritik Fan or if you want to see the sexy Aish

And in case IMDB ever removes it, here it is :

So grand, so stylish, so ostentatious the cinematography and stunts are, but alas Dhoom 2 can be considered as the most dim-witted sequels in Bollywood this year. From the first scene where the dashing Hritik (Mr. A) makes his classy entry and steals the priceless crown of the Queen, somewhere mid way in a desert until the last scene where Mr. Jr. Bacchan says “The bar is open”, you just sit and wonder when your Paisa Wasool would happen. Mr. Sanjayji, when you can spend so much on the stunts and gadgets, have some time to sit and spend some buck for a good script. You just can’t use Dhoom 1 as a cash cow to make some profit from Dhoom 2, especially with such a disastrous story line.

Let me review this movie a bit differently. How about stars speaking themselves about the movie? Won’t that be fun? Let’s try doing it. Over to the star cast

Hritik:- I’m a clever thief Mr. A, who always love to steel priceless things around the world, though neither do I know nor does the director know what I do with those loot. I love to use futuristic sci-fi gadgets in all my operations, But please don’t sit and wonder where I get funded for it. Well the story of the movie is “Humnnnn……AAAAAAA…Actually it’s……..Humnnnnn……….Wait I’ll ask the director, probably he would be knowing it”

Abhishek:- Well I loved the movie, Coz Ash loved it. As far as my role goes, I’m a intelligent cop whose job is to stop Mr. A and arrest him. I have some super natural powers where in I can stay for hours together under water in a Water glider and then pop out of water from no where and kill all the Roughs. I also have to take care of my pregnant wife, Oh no, I’m not speaking of Ash, it’s too early to think of that, Rather I was speaking of Rimi sen who plays the role of exasperating spouse of mine in the movie.

Uday Chopra:- I’m a portraying a role of a assistant cop who is guaranteed to irk you with his deadly PJ’s and broken English. I have put every effort to act well, and I have faith that one day I’ll act like Sharukh Khan (The Interviewer Faints). Till then daddy please give me roles in your movies. Bolo Papaji Ki Jai.

Aishwarya:- So like I play the role of Sunaihri, a supposedly wise and ultra sexy thief to whom even a stud like Hritik can drool for. Like, I loved acting with Abhishek. Like I wear all this micro mini skirts, long enough to cover my overacting and short enough to avoid obstructing you guys perverted views. Like, you guys will forget your popcorn looking at my Ultra gorgeous 36-24-36 curves, just the way I forgot how to act, in this movie. Also I smooch in the movie along with Hrithik, to check out how much green Abhishek can get.

Bipasha:- Hi I’m Bipasha Basu. Bule tho Nahin Mujhe. Nobody has a clue what I’m doing in this movie. Even John Abraham is trying to figure it out, and in the process of finding it out he’s losing all his Hairs. My role in the movie is to wear a two piece (Bikini) and walk along the shores of Brazilian Sea, and make Uday dream of him having kids with me.

Well that was a exclusive interview by the star cast of Dhoom2 for IMDb.

Well on a serious note: the movie does try to introduce some good Hollywood stunt sequences in Indian Movies. But Holy cow, why do they have to exaggerate so much in every stunt sequence. With such an exaggeration none of the stunt sequence appears to be realistic. Also none of the songs except for the title track is worth hearing, and some songs are just a torture to sit and watch in a 70mm screen.

The only part of the movie that rocks and makes you still feel better after spending a hefty buck watching it at Multiplexes is the Ultra cool, the absolute stud Hritik with his remarkable acting and fantastic styles. Also for guys, it’s watching the elegant, beautiful, sexy Shetty Gal Aishwarya Rai in her Minis. Also the cinematography of the movie is grand and can be watch able. Apart from this I can’t think of the reason why you have to watch this movie in a theater.

So please Sanjayji, next time if you plan to come up with another sequel to Dhoom, don’t you make it such a disaster.

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Imran Khan on George W Bush

Uthfull — Sun, 19 Nov 2006 06:06:12 +0000

This is what Imran Khan had to say about Bush on “India Questions Imran Khan” on NDTV 24×7.

Pranoy Roy: So are you calling Bush a terrorist?
Imran Khan: Bush is controlled by fanatics. Bush is not bright enough to be a terrorist.

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Star News is obsessed with Bipasha

Uthfull — Wed, 16 Aug 2006 17:35:33 +0000

If channels like Star News continue to run, then the Television deserves to be called the Idiot Box.

I mean… what the fuck!!?? In the evening, they had a special feature on “Bipasha in Bikini” (Bipasha in the promos of Dhoom2 and how the promos have made their way to the masala websites on the interent). What sort of news is this?? I remember, a few months back when Bipasha changed her hairstyle, they had special cooverage of that too. Don’t their journalists have anything better to do than surf porn and masala sites??!!

The whole Star Network is shitty. Star movies shows shitty movies, Star Plus is a fucking stupid behanji channel and Star One… what can I say!

On the other hand, my local cable walla is showing Pinjar. Seems cable walla has more sense than those fools running the Star Network.

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The biggest upset

Uthfull — Sun, 02 Jul 2006 05:31:40 +0000

Brazil are out of the world cup. Thankfully, I never wanted them to win. I wanted Argentina but even they’re. Now I just want Portugal to win the cup.

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The excitement continues. . .

Uthfull — Sat, 01 Jul 2006 20:01:59 +0000

Portugal beat England with their goalkeeper emerging as the hero. I am so happy.
Watching the Brazil vs France game. France is dominating the game. I just hope they win it. Zidane is playing beautifully. Then Portugal might have some chance of going to the finals.

And yes. . . I am still blogging from my phone. Its half-time and Harsha Bhogle is boring me with his crappy analysis.

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The best game of the World Cup

Uthfull — Sun, 25 Jun 2006 21:03:10 +0000

Portugal vs Netherlands…. what a game!

Its 2.30AM, I just finished watching this extraordinary game. If you missed it, don’t dare to miss the highlights.

Fights, roughing up, kicks, elbows…… 4 red cards!!!!!

The game ended with I think about 15 yellow cards (not sure).

Easily the best game I have ever seen. I just wanted the Dutch to equalize but they failed. Portugal now face England with two main players definitely out of their team.

Six minutes extra time added on in the second half…. every second was worth it!!!

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My blue boots still have it…

Uthfull — Sun, 25 Jun 2006 17:04:25 +0000

Beckham with his blue boots scored a seemingly impossible goal to end Equador’s world cup journey.
The England skipper still has it in him. Victoria Beckham, alias Posh “Anorexic” Spice was delighted.

Now I switched the channels to see the IIFA Awards. Javed Akhtar is on the stage to present the award to O.P. Dutta. I can’t understand a word… he needs to see a speech therapist!!

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Phir Hera Pheri

Uthfull — Sun, 11 Jun 2006 15:15:05 +0000

Saw the movie with some friends. Awesome. I couldn’t stop laughing for a second. Akshay Kumar stole the show with his hilarious acting and perfect timing. Paresh Rawal was splendid too. Sunil Shetty…. well he did not act much. Bipasha Basu and Rimi Sen simply couldn’t act. Rajpal Yadav was “over” as usual.

But it was worth the money spent. I recommend it over Fanaa although I haven’t seen Fanaa. Aamir just looks like a haggard old lady in the promos. Further, I simply can’t tolerate another one of those dumb-romantic flicks from the Chopra gang. They are way too unrealistic!!

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Sporting Extravaganza: FIFA World Cup 2006

Uthfull — Sun, 11 Jun 2006 14:49:59 +0000

The first match between Germany and Costa Rica was amazing. The Germans led the attack with exquisite passing. Miroslav Klose was pretty impressive and scored 2 goals on his birthday. But the person who caught my eye during that game was Paulo Wanchope. The 6’5″ tall guy just ran casually on the field scoring two magnificent goals. He kicked the ball late, just at the right time, defeating the goalkeeper as well as the defence. The scorcher by Frings too was beautiful.

The next match that I saw was the one between England and Paraguay. Nothing exciting. Just an average game. The cheeky passing between Beckham to Lampard was something to see. England won because of an own goal.

The match between Sweden and Trinidad & Tobago has been my favourite till now. Even though good football wasn’t played, the game kept me glued to my seat. T&T defended marvellously with one man short. Sweden played a disasterous game.

The match between Argentina and Ivory Coast was good in terms of the football played. It was fast but I was too sleepy to watch it past half-time.

Conclusion : In all the matches, the underdogs are the ones who have played a better game because they had nothing to lose and everything to gain. Germany, Sweden & England all had a tough time just because of their over-confidence. This whole month will be filled with excitement.

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In the news: Rakhi Sawant

Uthfull — Sun, 11 Jun 2006 14:33:19 +0000

So Rakhi Sawant now claims that Mika molested her. In her own words, “Mika kissed her in front of everybody and it was a lip-to-lip kiss“!!! For God’s sake, is she retarted? Lip-to-lip kiss!!!??? What the fuck is that??

Its just another cheap publicity stunt. It was the breaking news on all Indian News Channels. Star News got both Rakhi and Mika on the phone and made them talk on national television. Their conversation was hilarious!! Rakhi made a fool out of herself by crying and telling the reporters that Mika pulled her forcefully and she was hurt and her earings were damaged !!

The police lodged an FIR against her earlier and now Rakhi lodged an FIR against Mika. Woman…. you need help!!

Ummmm…. why am I even wasting my time writing this shit !!!???????

UPDATE:
I thought I should mention this too. Does anybody remember that last year Star News carried out a special report RED ALERT about some sex scandals in bollywood?? Well, the girl they caught was Rakhi Sawant. Although they blurred her face and never told her name but some cool guy managed to capture a blurred close-up clearly showing that it was Rakhi only. Bloody slut!!

Search the net for more on that story. You can easily find the video on DesiTorrents.

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Late Night Movie

Uthfull — Thu, 11 May 2006 21:26:48 +0000

I was awfully bored since the last couple of days. I had decided I would download all the three Godfather movies and all the three parts of Cruel Intentions.

Although I’ve seen ‘em all before but they are great flicks.

Its 2.45AM and I just finished watching the first Cruel Intentions. Reese Witherspoon looked sucky. Her husband (real-life not reel-life), Ryan Phillippe looked good. Sarah Michelle Gellar….oh so sexy!!
I’m watching this movie for the fifth time and I can still see it again.

This will continue till I have watched all the six flicks. Keep watching this space…

Update :
The carnival is over people. Mum & Dad are back. Deleting the six flicks!!

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Karrryme Reportarr!

Uthfull — Sun, 07 May 2006 11:47:41 +0000

Just came back from watching this super hilarious programme, Crime Reporter (although the anchor calls it Karrryme Reportarr) on Zee News. The anchor, Raghavendra something is a total nutcase. He can’t pronounce even a single word properly and conducts the show in such a funny manner that would make anybody laugh. He looks more like an Asha Parekh than a crime reporter to me.

The feature of today’s show was group sex and wife swapping. Now when did that become a crime?? The couples are doing something with each other’s consent. I don’t promote such things but hey, they’re not robbing or killing people!! They are destroying our culture but who doesnt? Even you & I do that too. Its their choice. Let them do what they want to.

And the anchor was so proud when he said that Zee News is the only in the history of Indian Television to have covered this subject and launched a full-fledged sting operation to uncover the truth. D.U.M.B.!!!

I have absolutely no problems with Zee News reporting about Group Sex and Wife Swapping. Go ahead. Seems you have nothing better to do.

Chaain so sona hai toh abb jaag jaao!!!

Same goes for you too Zee News Producers!!! Channel chalana hai toh jaag jaao!!

And please Mr. Raghavendra, please, for God’s sake, please, please, please, stop acting like Asha Parekh!!! Further its Group Sex not Group SAX!!!

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