It’s sad, so sad. It’s a sad, sad situation. And it’s getting more and more absurd. What have I got to do…
When sorry seems to be the hardest word…

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Around 11 days back, The Tribune carried an article titled “Has PTU become dysfunctional?”.

Any past or present student would agree with each and every word of the article. It’s sad, that a university established in the year 1997 (that’s 12 years now!) does not run any courses in its campus! That’s because the campus was shifted from one place to the other and the buildings have been constructed recently. It has an annual revenue of 300 crore which we could attribute to the thousands of re-evaluation and re-appear forms that are submitted each semester due to a fraudulent and faulty paper checking system.

If you clear the exam after re-evaluation, the university does not even bother to return your money. Results of the previous semester are declared a week before the exams for the current session are due. As far as I know, the university does not even have a vice chancellor.

I still fail to understand why the government does not take any action against this university. I am a student of PTU myself and it is because of this careless attitude of the PTU authorities that the top companies or educational institutions are not even willing to look at profiles of candidates passing out from here.

It is a mess students like myself have chosen themselves to get into and its better we rectify it by working hard and getting out of this rut.

Before I go, I shall leave you with a screenshot of the official Punjab Technical University website (http://ptu.ac.in/). This is a university which grants degrees to thousands and thousands of engineers, MCA’s, BCA’s and they can’t even do a decent enough job themselves.

Screenshot taken on August 20th, 2009.

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बहुत दिन गुज़र गए, जब मुझ में अखिरी बार हिन्दी में लिखने की प्रेरणा जागी थी । आज फ़िर वैसा ही अवसर आया है । आज मुझे ऐसा लगा जैसे मेरी हिन्दी, मेरी मातृ भाषा, कमज़ोर हो गई है । यह ऐसे युग में हो रहा है जब हर देश अपनी ही मातृ भाषा पर ज़ोर दे रहा है । मैं हूं यहां, इस किनारे में, सिर्फ अंग्रेज़ी में लिखी जा रहा हूँ ।

आज के इस इन्टरनेट युग में, दुनिया सिमट कर रह गई है । ज्ञान का भंडार है यह ‘जाल’ !! पर हिन्दी भाषा में लिखित बहुत कम चीज़ें हैं । एक तरफ़ चीनी, जापानी, रूसी, ऊर्दू जैसी भाषाऐं हैं जिनमें लिखे अनेक लेख इन्टरनेट पर उपलब्ध हैं और जिनको बोलने वाले उनका उपयोग कम्प्यूटर पर भी करते हैं । इधर हम हैं, जो अपनी भाषा को भी अंग्रेज़ी में लिखते हैं । इससे न केवल हमारी भाषा, बल्कि हमारा अपना व्यक्तित्व मिट रहा है ।

आप चीन जैसे देश में जांए, तो यह पाएँगे की उन्हे अपनी भाषा पर गर्व है । उनके बच्चों को पढ़ाने का माध्यम भी चीनी भाषा ही है । इन्टरनेट पर भी वह चीनी का ही अधिक प्रयोग करते हैं । यही वजह है कि दुनिया की हर बढ़ी वेबसाइट और साफ़्टवेअर का एक चीनी रूप ज़रूर होता है । क्योंकि हम अपनी भाषा को अंग्रेज़ी के अक्षरों में लिकना पसंद करते हैं, इसलिए देवनागिरी का कम्प्युटर और इन्टरनेट पर बहुत कम महत्व है । क्योंकि हम हिन्दी का लिखित में उपयोग करना ही नहीं चाहते, कोई इनके उपयोग को ना सरल बनाता है और ना ही हमारी अपनी सरकार इसको बढ़ावा देती है । एक और कारण यह भी है कि चीन जैसे देशों में कम्प्यूटर चलाने वालों की संख्या सबसे अधिक है । पर यह सिर्फ़ इसी बात का परिणाम है की चीन की सरकार ने अपनी भाषा को महत्व दिया और देश की अधिक से अधिक जनता कम्प्यूटर चलाना आसानी से अपनी भाषा में ही सीख गई ।

आजसे मेरा प्रयास रहेगा की मैं इस ब्लाग पर कुछ न कुछ हिन्दी में ज़रूर लिखूँ ताकि मैं अपनी मातृ भाषा को सम्मान दे सकूँ ।

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It was exactly 18 days ago, that I was supposed to give my first exam. That got postponed to May 19th. I picked up my books but then again the exams got postponed. Then again. Then again. I’m sick of P.T.U. now. I hope 1st June turns out to be lucky.

I know I’m yet to start preparing but kindly allow me to give my semester exams. This is getting really frustrating now.

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Don’t believe the elders and philosophers. Wisdom does not come with age. It is born with you in the cradle. Either you have it or you don’t.

I still have a very long way to go but I will agree with Ruskin Bond on the above statement. Having seen plenty of “adults” behaving worse than three year olds, I find the above statement completely apt.

Source

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I won’t be teaching you something new or radical. It is just an explanation of what I did to stay happy when I was surrounded by strangers. Strangers here does not just refer to unknown people but also people with absurd thought processes which you cannot seem to relate to no matter how hard you may try.

Around a week back, my feed reader alerted me of a new comment on my blog. The comment was from a reader karen on a very old post on this blog :

how is collegge life now and you? im a collegge student for almost two years now, and i seem to have a problem where im not happy with my friends, but i try to stay happy and sometimes faking it to other people and just dont want to show that im upset you know.

As I sat there reading those few lines, I could completely empathize with the person. Around 2 years back, when I entered college, I was face-to-face with a very similar situation. Even though my college is jus 16KMS from my house, it used to feel as if I was on another planet altogether. I tried to befriend different people, spent time with them and judged them. But the more I stayed with them, the more I felt suffocated. I felt lonely – all alone in the middle of nowhere. The only time I felt happy was when I skipped college (my attendance must have been below 40%). The atmosphere in college was pathetic. It did not seem like a place to study and it sure was no place to enjoy or freak out. I always knew that films showed the half truth but my college life was far from what I had imagined. Looking at my sisters getting nostalgic when talking about their own college days, I felt even more depressed.

Then this realisation dawned upon me. There was no point in cribbing. There was no point in just brooding over the fact that I could not find even a single person who was like-minded. If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em! Or atleast pretend that you have. That is what I did. I let them be. I opened up my head to their thoughts. These thoughts and views really did not matter to me. My brain was on auto-pilot. It filtered out what it thought was a bit sensible and discarded the rest. This way, I had no load to carry. I had nothing to worry about. I was completely detached.

I did not need friends. I did not want friends. I already had loads of ‘em. I wanted company. I wanted to hear somebody blabber something for those 8 hours I was in college. It broke the monotony, it provided me relief and best of all I had no problems with the people that surrounded me. I realized that there was no point trying to fight a losing battle. There was no point trying to find that one needle in this haystack. Just pretend that you always had it. Or you didn’t need it at all!!

I followed this philosophy. I went to college, passed my time, had pure fun without worrying about anything else. Even though sometimes I did not really relish it, my brain just discarded that thought. I quit worrying and cribbing. I stopped thinking about my past and where I was currently. I stopped comparing. I stopped keeping a count of my gains and losses. I just let them be. This way, I welcomed everybody with open arms and by the time I knew it, I had an army of people to keep me company. I shed the prejudice that I had and in the process I gained relief. I gained company. I gained mental peace. I gained satisfaction. I gained friends (yup, friends and not just company). I gained happiness.

Now, I’m actually happy when I go to college. Had I not taken that step to welcome everybody, I’d still be cribbing and ranting here on this blog. But now the situation is different. Now, I’m not seeking company. Rather I’m enjoying the time that I spend in college.

The only way to overcome difficult situations, the only way to feel wanted when you’re alone, the only way to stay happy when you’re not, the only way to feel at home when you’re in the middle of nowhere, is to just change the way you think.

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I took these screenshots a few weeks back from one of my college labs. We were asked to run some SQL queries on our systems when I saw the Nod32 icon in the taskbar. I was surprised that my college was using it and had it on all the systems in the lab.

Just out of curiosity, I went to the control panel of the software to see if the software was licensed or not. To my utter surprise, it was a cracked version.  It used the Nod32FiX by nSane if I’m not wrong. Check out the screenshots.

After a few more days snooping around in the college labs, I found that many of the PCs in my college labs have the same cracked version of Nod32 installed. Since the students are not allowed administrative access, it is most definitely the work of the college authorities. Students had given feedback that all the systems were infested with worms that further infect their USB sticks when copy the stuff they’ve made. So this is the remedy the college has come up with. Bravo!

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Somebody… anybody… you…

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It’s been long since I heard a song and instantly liked it. Well no more…

Suddenly, there arrives a song, who with its brilliant musical arrangement and lyrics caught my mind like never before. The song is waste by Seether. I find myself listening to it all day… and as stated in the previous post, it gives me my dose of sadness. The song oozes pain and sadness… the wasy the guitar is played… the way those guys have sung the chorus makes the pain all the more real.

Probably one of the finest compositions I’ve heard in a while with so much emotion and pain put into the song. Amazing.

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Its a little peculiar and I’ve only recently noticed this – I enjoy sadness. I like getting depressed. I like to have that pain shoot up inside of me. I like the feeling when my head gets so heavy that tears just trickle out of my eyes. I don’t know what to make of this condition because overall I’m quite happy and satisfied with my life. In fact, life’s never felt better and the future’s never looked so promising.

Then why do I find myself constantly listening to sad and depressing songs, watching movies that make me wanna cry (yes CRY!)… It’s beyond my reasoning. I’m not troubled by this recent revelation but I’m so fucking curious to find out the reason behind all this.

On my playlist : Seether – Waste.

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People are outside… partying… somehow this New Year scares me…

Anyways, Happy New Year… hopefully.

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This is probably one of the funniest videos I’ve seen in a while.
If you follow the comments on any popular blog, you’ll easily get the humour.

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I flunked in three exams in the first sem. I cleared all of them. Only one remains which is a mass repeat. Will hopefully clear that exam as well.
A lesson that I learnt was that it’s never to late to correct what went wrong. Better than crying and committing suicide.

Currently listening to :
Three Days Grace – Never Too Late

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Na na… that’s not the code name for some terrorist organization. Its just a model number of a battery that comes with a number of Nokia phones – 46 million of them to be precise.

And its defective. It overheats. It gets deformed. Who knows, it might even burst!!

I seriously advise people to check Nokia’s website for more information and to check if their battery if one from the defective
lot.

• http://www.nokia.com/batteryreplacement/en/

The good part is, Nokia will replace the defective pieces. So don’t start panicking and switch off your phones. Wait for Monday to come (Aug 15th is a holiday, Saturday, Sunday too) and get your battery replaced. Don’t wanna discourage you here but the Nokia Care people are even more terrorizing. They returned my phone after two weeks and they just had to tighten a screw. So make sure you put some pressure on them. Good luck and stay safe!!

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Love… Humbles you… grounds you…

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I’m writing after a very very long time.

This story is regarding our very own Mahatma Gandhi, the Father of our nation.
The Tribune recently published a story about Gandhi and his affair with a woman. I’ve published the article on TMP, in order to kick off things there. The article links to the newspaper’s website and shows the full article. Hop over to TMP and give it a read.

Cheers!!

And yeah, I’m gonna get back in action again now. So those of you willing to contribute to The Melting Pot, gimme a buzz.

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Finally I’m back on the blog.

A lot has happened since my last post and even before it but I didn’t get time to write it down.

I bought a new phone, a Nokia N73 Music Edition. One beautiful gadget it is. My sister got married. I’ll put up some pictures soon. My college attendance touched an all time low. I met with a very deadly road accident; nothing serious happened to me but could have. Lets say I was a little lucky this time, escaped unhurt.

But there were fun times too. I spent a great deal of time with my girl, meeting up with her almost everyday. But then there were fights with her too.

And I think something’s happened to me, I get very tired towards the end of the day almost everyday which caused a lot of mood swings and thus causing a lot of fights with lotsa people.

I’m hating myself at the moment but I don’t know what else to do.

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Hey!! Blogging after a loooooooooooong time. But this is gonna e a short post. Cause I am about to run outside and play with colours. But before I do that, lemme wish everyone a very Happy Holi.

Hope you guys have a colourful life ahead!

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I have just launched a brand new project. Something similar to the Dreams Database that was present on Tandem Felix.

Its called Surreal Stories. You go, register, post your dreams and other people post their thoughts.

Give it a whirl. I don’t dream. Seriously. And this site is just an attempt to peep into your mind. Please participate and spread the word.

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Ummm… I guess something is wrong with me. I say something, people hear something else. Causing too many misunderstandings.
No one’s ready to listen to my side of the story. They just get angry.

Better go kill myself.

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