…Clueless

April 1st is near. Get ready to play pranks on your friends. Here’s something I had done sometime back. It was not April 1st then. But I was getting bored & wanted to have some fun.

OVERVIEW:
Charanjeet likes Amit Pantri. Rahul Sarin (ME) emails Charanjeet n starts talking all crap. Read on!!

Names(except mine) & emails(including mine) have been changed to protect the identity of those involved.

The text between asterix ********** are the emails from “Chanranjeet”.

Now here’s an email log of our conversation which lasted for sometime.

All that I wrote in those mails is complete fiction. I concocted those stories & incidents just like that, in a matter of seconds . I actually never had any such thing in my mind. But Khanna liked “Charanjeet” at that time & I happened to get hold of her email address from one of the mails Khanna sent me. So, while listening to “Savage Garden”, I actually started writing & emailed the girl. I wanted to just tease Khanna & after that used to threaten him that if he misbehaved with me, I would email “Charanjeet” & tell her that he liked her. Then after sometime when I got bored, I emailed her & told her the whole story. In between, “Charanjeet” & “Pantri” kept making enquiries about me & finally managed to find out who I was.

Its nothing great. You will find a lot a errors in it. Some lines might not even make sense. But I was just writing for the heck of it ! I had nothing to lose & nothing to gain. Simple, plain time-pass!!!

to:. charanjeet_184@yahoo.co.uk,
from:. chapstik.guru@gmail.com
subject:. I knew I loved you…
message:.

Charanjeet,
I knew I loved you before I met you!!

You are the love of my life darling, don’t ever leave me, just stay with me babez!!

Shower me with all your love honey and you won’t regret it. My feelings for you are so deep, so warm that you won’t ever imagine.

Please baby, just say yes!! Please!!
I love you from the bottom of my heart. Its no infatuation!! Not a normal crush…. you know we both are too old for that stuff! Its deep, it passionate, the love I have for you.

Seriously I wish I was a kid again…. skinned knees are easier to fix than broken hearts!! But I’m not a kid anymore! I’m a boy in love with you, love which is so pure…. so real that you can feel it in the air when we both are around each other.

If you even have the slighest clue to who I am, please email me back and address me with my name. Tell me what you thought about my feelings. If its a yes, then baby its love for the rest of our lives!! If its a no, well then, I seriously don’t know!!!
I’m not a street-side romeo, just trying to hit on you by emailing you. I’m someone you actually know, someone you’ve been out with many times.
And yeah, one more thing………. I’m definitely not Amit!!

Luv Ya Honey!!
Take Care

and please please please…….. do reply!!

*************************************************************
hi i really have no idea bout who u r? gr8 if u not a street side romeo.
know what i have had enuf of such practicle jokes, & i hate them. so if its one of those, u can bet on it,if i come to know who u r……… dont u think it will be better if u stop beating around the bush an tell me. so i know u do i? wat was dat bout Amit? oh c’mon u dont have guts do u just too bad.
see ya then
P.S. from where did u get my e id.
*************************************************************

to:. charanjeet_184@yahoo.co.uk,
from:. chapstik.guru@gmail.com
subject:. Re: Re: I Knew I Loved You…
message:.

Firstly darlin’… thx 4 the cute reply !!!
Short n sweet

Im not beatin round the bush baby… i told u i love u!! n yes u kno me honey. wat wuz dat bout Amit…. well every1 knoz u hve the HOTS 4 Amit!!! n this aint a practical joke…. it is the practical truth!! i got guts baby… just waitin 4 the rite time. i guess u havent got the guts 2admit the thin bout Amit!! i got guts 2 even tell u that i lik u even when i kno u lik Amit!! now don get angry… cuz i kno u will!!!

chao sweety!!
P.S. (copyin ur style) its not a prank…. its not a prank!!!!

—————————————————————————-
hi i really have no idea bout who u r? gr8 if u not a street side romeo.

know what i have had enuf of such practicle jokes, & i hate them. so if its one of those, u can bet on it,if i come to know who u r……… dont u think it will be better if u stop beating around the bush an tell me. so i know u do i? wat was dat bout Amit? oh c’mon u dont have guts do u just too bad.

see ya then

P.S. from where did u get my e id.

*************************************************************
from where have u got this notion that i like Pantri? u seem to know me pretty well dont u ? dont get so smug bout it, u sound so. even if i do “have the hots for him” …. …. and wat if i tell u that he 2 is interested then wat. u seem kinda nice, that is obvius coz i know u(don’t i?), i know only nice people. u have guts i guess , knowin i’m not 1 bit interested. abut Amit i’m myself not too sure.
now i think it is time u gave some inkling as to who u are. its fair isn’t it. i’m not in the habit of riting long mails. so i’m usually short & sweet. do tell me soon, i’m dying to know.
Charanjeet
*************************************************************

to:. charanjeet_184@yahoo.co.uk,
from:. chapstik.guru@gmail.com
subject:. Nice Try!!
message:.

Hey luv!!
I laughed my ass off when I came to know about your unsuccessful bid to retrieve my e accounts password!!!

You seriously thought u cud??!! n that 2 on gmail!!? nah!!

Now uve made it even more difficult 4 me 2 reveal my identity!

Lil’ Hint —> I’m not Manish, Samar, Ankit or Tushar!!

Wait for sumtime my darlin’…… b a lil’ patient. SABAR KA PHAL MEETHA HOTA HAI!!
Waise bhi….. even I’m waitin for u 2 tell me n clarify ur scene wit Pantri.

U kno wat darlin… even I’m dying to tell u who i am…. but ur makin it harder 4 me. U tried three times to get the password… u failed!!

Lets c if u were able to guess now!
N baby that devil smiley of urs…. u just made my day!! >:)

———————————————————————————————————-
from where have u got this notion that i like Pantri? u seem to know me pretty well dont u ? dont get so smug bout it, u sound so. even if i do “have the hots for him” …. …. and wat if i tell u that he 2 is interested then wat. u seem kinda nice, that is obvius coz i know u(don’t i?), i know only nice people. u have guts i guess , knowin i’m not 1 bit interested. abut Amit i’m myself not too sure.

now i think it is time u gave some inkling as to who u are. its fair isn’t it. i’m not in the habit of riting long mails. so i’m usually short & sweet. do tell me soon, i’m dying to know.

Charanjeet

*************************************************************
u don’t have to laugh ur ass off alright.i had every intention of gettin d password but then sweet as i am , i changed my mind at the last moment&wait fr u to tel me on ur own.
but now i am not one bit interested in continuing mailin u. plz spare me the agony of writin to u. i don’t enjoy it.
take care& look fr someone else
P.S. sorry fr beng rude.
*************************************************************

to:. charanjeet_184@yahoo.co.uk,
from:. chapstik.guru@gmail.com
subject:. oh c’mon…!!
message:.

Oh C’mon Charanjeet…!
Don’t get all angry n stuff!! OK fine im an ass!!

But u kno.. m head over heals in love with you!!
Fine u wanted to hack my account… curiosity kills the cat!! forget it… it wud hve bin better if u had hacked my account… at least u wud hve cum 2 kno who i am cuz i get all sweaty even when i think of revealin my identity 2 u!

pls pls…!! i beg u… don stop mailin me!! at least i cud pour my heart out 2 u…. otherwise ur always with the others!!

U had asked me in the first mail how i got hold of ur mail address… well i went to Yahoo! People and searched for your name. n then u replied… it wuz lik a dream cum true 4 me…!! i cudnt sleep that nite… kept thinkin wat i wud write 2 u the nxt day.

u don even need to tell me how sweet u r… i kno u baby!! how can i take care of myself….hell how can i b myself when m not in touch wit u Charanjeet?!

Now its all up2 u Charanjeet….. block me… kick me… do nethin u want2…. if u think m causin u pain n hurt by mailin u lik this… then rest assured u wont rcv ne mailz in the future.

And as 4 lookin 4 sum1 else… just read the next few lines ….

” There’s no love – like your love
And no other – could give more love
There’s nowhere – unless you’re there
All the time – all the way

Don’t tell me it’s not worth tryin’ for
I can’t help it there’s nothin’ I want more
I would fight for you – I’d lie for you
Walk the wire for you – Ya I’d die for you

Ya know it’s true

- Bryan Adams ”

Bye… Take Care
—————————————————————————————————–
u don’t have to laugh ur ass off alright.i had every intention of gettin d password but then sweet as i am , i changed my mind at the last moment&wait fr u to tel me on ur own.

but now i am not one bit interested in continuing mailin u. plz spare me the agony of writin to u. i don’t enjoy it.

take care& look fr someone else

P.S. sorry fr beng rude.

*************************************************************
all right. i wont stop mailing, but i really dont like it, not knowing who d person at d other end is. wat exactly do u mean by causing me pain & hurt. mere ko samajh kya rakha hai? u know wat i dont really mind, on the contrary i’m quite njoyin myself.
listen dude u dont have to get all sweaty and stuff. i’m not gonna eat u up or fr dat matter even say anythin rude. but yes if in any way it is a prank……………… wath ur bak sweety. i’m saying this cozsomebody has already done exactly this an i was pissed off at him. u seem to know me pretty well dont u( i wonder who it u r. u said u r not those 4. and there r not many people here who i’ve been out with, the choice is quite limited isn’t it? ) nyways i was sayin u kno me, so i’m sure u would’ve heard of dat STUPID prank. i’ve written quite abit, i’m more of the chattin on d fone variety. now don’t tell me u have my fone# too. don’t call han unless u ‘reveal ur identity’ . and y the interest in Amit, wat have u been hearin? chalo then bye, guess i’ve been sweet enuf i’ll b sweeter wen i kno who u r.
c ya
Charanjeet
*************************************************************

to:. charanjeet_184@yahoo.co.uk,
from:. chapstik.guru@gmail.com
subject:. Sorry!
message:.

Hey Charanjeet…

M really…. really very sorry!!
Thats it…. i can’t carry this thing on further. I have to spill the beans…. fine u were right frm the start…. its a prank… lik all such stupid mails are.

You don’t know me at all… ive never seen u let alone bin out with u sumplace. I’m sorry… i just cudnt carry this on further. You were bein so ….awfully nice n sweet. I just cudnt do this to you nemore….. every1nz patience has its limits.

m sorry for all that “mental agony” bout which u had written in 1 of ur previous mails.

I hve many… many frndz in Shishu Niketan…. they told me bout u…. and Amit, all ur frndz n all the silly gossip!! They just gave me a dare…that i cudnt catch ur attention in neway… n they were quite rite!!

m very very very sorry Charanjeet. U r a very smart n a sweet girl. I apologise for troublin u in this silly n cheap way!!

i just cudnt do this nemore….. check 4 ur replies n cook up a story n write baq 2 u. u were havin fun…. i was gettin tired!!

i don hve ur tel no. i don kno where u live…. i don even kno who u r!!

now u must b thinkin dat i am a complete “vellah” n i don hve better things 2 do. even im quite ashamed of myself. i don know the guys in ur school that well…. they’re just my tuition mates…. those pesky sardars n bhaiyas….. they just kept on buggin me n pressurin me 2 juz do all this crap!!

m not in the least interested in u or ur private n personal life Charanjeet. it wuz just a STUPID prank lik u called it. frm wat ive bin hearin frm those assholes….. this Amit dude is ur boyfriend o sumtin or just ur very gud frnd…. watever…. but those guys r damn jealous of Amit n hate him for his guts (thats all i cud judge). regarding those names i mentioned…. i dun quite remember… tushar , ankit … etc…. i don even kno them. those jerks supplied the info.

all the adjectives ive used for ur schoolmates (assholes, jerks….) can b used for me 2 just cuz ive behaved in a very rude manner.

again.. i m sorry 4 playin this stupid, silly juvenile prank on u.

block me if u want 2…. u r free 2 even write baq abuses. i will not mind…..!
now u kno who i am….. so i guess ull b sweeter!!

Charanjeet frm wat ive come 2 kno frm the past few mails is dat u r a fantastic human being. Just ignore me… ignore those bastards in ur school…. just enjoy!!
just continue being ur sweet self n m sure ull hve a wonderful life ahead…!!

Hope u forgive me…. i wont bother u further!!

Take Care……
Rahul

P. S. —> pls pls don try n investigate further in this matter…. don waste ur time in findin who i really am (i kno u wont). cuz rest assured…. ull neva eva b able 2 find out. ive neva studied in ur school…. i just live in chandigarh. SORRY!!

*************************************************************
i just knew it. thanx fr tellin me dat it was a prank. u dont have to b srry , no hard feelins here. so it was some guys from school, i know all of them r like that except my section ‘A’ . most of us are from other skools who just joined coz the skool does not have much of an attendence problem.
so u just know my name, thats it. great. u know wat all those thins u said, really sweet of u, considering u dont even know me…… i knew it was a prank coz i’m new here(its been ayear) & i’m not close to many people, so igo out with just afew people. and one more thing Amit is not my boyfrnd. and even if he is i dont really care wat those people think, u can tel them that.
i’m not goin to try and find ou who u r, if udont want me to. u do seem like a nice guy. but it was quite stupid of u, u dont even know me. do tell why they r jealous ofAmit.
bye then it was nice mailin u
Charanjeet
*************************************************************

to:. charanjeet_184@yahoo.co.uk,
from:. chapstik.guru@gmail.com
subject:. Re: Re: Sorry!
message:.

Well this is the first time i’m actually using my mailbox 2 reply 2
u!! Earlier i wuz usin an anonymous mail service (actually my own!!).

Well even i cud tel u had a hunch… so there wuz no pt. in just
wastin time with my silly prank.

Well… can’t u c why they hate Amit?…. well… he seems to b popular…
n as i ced b4… they hate him 4 his guts. they keep callin him
names… abusin him n stuff (u kno those punjabi gaalis… u mustve
heard em )

Well thats actually all there is…. i think hes the most popular guy
in shishu…. the other guys … simply jealous!!
They’re just insecure bastards… its just best 2 ignore them.
They just call Amit a “phukra” (hope u undastand).

I kno it was damn stupid of me….. but i dunno wat happened 2 me…
those assholes provoked me n i just had 2 answer baq!! u kno how
irritatin they can b??

And… u kno wat stories they’re spreadin around these days….heres
it in their own words (they dunno english tho!! ) “Amit n his
gang were playin truth n dare in class. Amits turn came n everybody
dared him 2 kiss Charanjeet. Amit coolly went 2 Charanjeet n kissed her. She
didnt seem 2 mind at all !! Its pukka theres sumtin goin on b/w the
2!!”
I think…Now… it seems they hve nuthin better 2 do. They’re gettin
overboard now…. u shud teach them a lesson 4 spreadin such rumours.
im sorry i cant tell u they’re names…. ull just hve to find out 4
urself.

Lastly…… all the shishu guys seem to hve this huge huge huge crush
on u…. but they think ur “dat” typa girl (srry since i don kno u dat
well… i cant say this 2 u). Its a 4 letter word… starts with S n
dats why ur Amits friend.
Pls. don get angry wit me…. i don kno u…. its wat those guys keep
tellin every1. I kno after readin this para…. ull b damn angry… n
u shud b. Since i felt…. they were gettin 2 cheap n 2 vulgar…
talkin shit mostly bout u n then Amit… i thot i wud b best 2 tell
u everythin.

Ill mail u a log…. of my stupid mails…. n ur replies to em. Read
em… hve a gud lauf!!

Take Care of urself… put those asses baq in their shoes!! ,
Rahul

n seriously no hard feelings???
if none… n u use Y! Messenger…. mayb we can hve a chat sumtime….
add me to ur list (if u wish 2 after all ive done!!). My ids ” truthful
” . I wud really lik 2 hve a 1 2 1 chat wit u…. u seem 2 b a very
gud soul!!

*************************************************************
chalo good, i really dont know wat to say. i agree i’m somethin of a flirt. bt i never go OTT. if ur frnds with guys, people brand u a slut!!! i just dont understand, i’ve always preffered guys, coz they dont bitch about u behind ur back. now i think i’ll have to rethink alot of it. all those guys r bloody MCPs . i’m so pissed off rt now. just dont know wat to do now. god i hate that skool. listen rahul, they r r frnds, but u can tell me their names, i’m not going to let them know pleeeese!!! jjust fr my satisfaction.

bye then take care.
*************************************************************

to:. charanjeet_184@yahoo.co.uk,
from:. chapstik.guru@gmail.com
subject:. Re: Re: Sorry!
message:.

I don really find nethin bad in bein a flirt!! (Im 1 2!!) I think,
basically flirtin is much more fun than havin a relationship. I think
the same way as u do…. girls r 2 damn bitchy!! Most of the guys… r
lik open books… !
I started hatin girls baq in 9th grade when 1 of the girls in my class
copied my notes but in return when i asked 4 her notebook…. she
refused!! I hate this attitude of girls!! Just forget those guys
Charanjeet…. no point in even findin out who they r….. theyll simply
make a big big issue out of it. Im not scared of them… i can easily
tell u their names…. but its pointless n useless. They will never
stop spreadin such rumours… n u can neva make em shut up. n theres
no need to rethink… its those guys who have such narrow minds.

hav fun…!
chao

CHARANJEET SENDS RAHUL AN EMAIL

to:. chapstik.guru@gmail.com
from:. charanjeet_184@yahoo.co.uk
subject:. hi
message:.

*************************************************************
so how r u?
i am fine&really not bothered bout anythin.
i know u told me not to find out who u r&i swear i did not try to. u have to take my word fr it. but still, are u by any chance Rahul Sareen currently in bhavans? dont tell me if u dont want to. and there is no need to reply if u dont want to.
see ya then(oops i shud not say dat!!!!)
take care
Charanjeet
*************************************************************

Hahahahaha!!

Wat do u think???

U think I am some Rahul Sareen in bhavan??

ROTFLMAO!!!!!

Ok, i take ur word 4 it….. u din try findin out who i am…. but
whoever did … sure does suck… n dat 2 BIG TIME!!!

Wrong guess girl!!
I told u… there is no way in the world to find out who i am. Ive
left no tracks…. absolutely none!!

“…and there is no need to reply if u dont want to…” Mera dialouge
mujhi par!! OK…. frm now on… no mailz frm my side (except 4 dis 1)

Happy guessin’!!

Rahul

OK Fine!! She managed to find out. I am not as clever as I think. But that was because I commented on my friends(Khanna) personal webpage with a very similar looking email address. The girl, who is a friend of Khanna, was just visiting his webpage when she saw my comment. “Pantri” enquired from Khanna. Khanna was the person who had played a prank before(I think!).

But it was fun. Some months back, I finally managed to meet “Charanjeet”.