…Clueless

Last Monday, the 18th was probably the saddest day of my life this year. It was my birthday and I was in no mood to celebrate.

The trouble started in the morning of 17th. I had a mood swing and suddenly found myself super bored. I went out for a movie, came back and then went out for dinner. Then someone accused me of something which further ruined my mood. But the biggest blow came via text messages when I had a fight with someone. That was the end of my patience. I quickly retreated into my shell. Yes, most of you haven’t seen this side of Rahul. Now when I enter this so-called shell… I stop caring about everything. I seriously don’t give a fuck. I go about doing everything as if its my duty and don’t reason or question. Its like I have no feelings or emotions. I pushed certain people into oblivion so that they wouldn’t bother me.

But no matter how hard I try, if something bothers me, I cannot completely push it out of my mind. It keeps pricking me on the inside every second. So, in the afternoon, on the 18th, I decided to confront that person. What followed was another round of accusations and arguments. But then I didnt find a good enough reason to chuck everything. So… so… I ended the fight .

Heheh… yes, I made peace with the other party. Since I had been hurt so badly, it took sometime for me to come out from that so-called shell. But eventually I did, the next night i.e. the night of 19th.

Now everything is back to normal. I have finished with all the fights… with all the people. Some are still angry… they can go fuck a tree!!

It was one of the toughest days for me. I was sad and I couldn’t hide it and there were people around me trying hard to make me happy. The sadder part, I didn’t want them around.

I’m glad it all happened. I’ve come out stronger.

1. When you just can’t stay happy : I’m in college right now. Sitting in the lecture hall. Just when everything was slowly settling, a new controversy erupted in college. Routine bashing by the teacher for bunking but since I’m in such a crappy mood, it sucks! Nothing’s going normal these days and I don’t have a clue as to what the fuck is [...]...
2. Happy Diwali : Happy Diwali to everyone! Stay safe and have fun! Enjoy Diwali. Have fun!! And fuck you Airtel (Mobile network)!!! I can’t send text messages to anybody since the last few days. Either they fail or they stay pending. What the fuck!!! This problem is creating a lot of misunderstandings in my life!!!! ...
3. When God closes all the doors. : This is from Michael Jackson’s Will You Be There : But They Told Me A Man Should Be Faithful And Walk When Not Able And Fight Till The End But I’m Only Human And human HE was. God closed all the doors for Gaurav today and called him up there, so that he could make Him laugh and dance too....
4. Rahul spoils the fun… : Its 18th of August, 2006. Rahul is coolly sitting on his PC cleaning up the Google Desktop Index. Suddenly he looks at his cellhpone. Along with the usual mesages from Laddi, Abhit etc. there’s another message from an unkown number which simply says “Hi”. Fuck the third person now… Now I replied with a normal message Hi… whos dis? I [...]...
5. When your brain starts to crinkle… : I seriously don’t know what to do. People have been accusing me of being partial to others and not giving them time. Then there are some who don’t believe what I say but listen to the people around me and think that their words reflect my thoughts. I’m trying my level best but in the [...]...