…Clueless

Its 18th of August, 2006. Rahul is coolly sitting on his PC cleaning up the Google Desktop Index. Suddenly he looks at his cellhpone. Along with the usual mesages from Laddi, Abhit etc. there’s another message from an unkown number which simply says “Hi”.

Fuck the third person now…

Now I replied with a normal message

Hi… whos dis?

I received a stupid reply…

Who dya want me to be?

Instantly I recognized that this was one of my friends trying to play a prank on me. Abhit was not one of the suspects this time cause just one day prior he had tried to play a prank on me and had failed…

Now I thought of a crude, rude reply…

I don’t want you to b nebody I knw you silly dumbfuck and so on…

Again I received a messaging saying that I the sender’s intention was not to bug me but just have a normal chat. I thought, why the fuck not?! So I replied to some more messages and kept being a little rude. Finally the girl messaged back asking me why I was showing attitude? I replied back… I don’t remember what… and then finally ended it by saying that we would continue the mutual pissing off exercise some other day. The girl replied that smart talk is fine but it takes effort to cheer up a person…

I dunno why but I knew it was either Kirat or Niharika. This is due to the the writing style. Anyways, I called up the number next evening. The girl picked up the phone after a long ring. I asked her who she was. She refused and asked me who I was since I had called. I told her that I had received some messages. She quickly replied that I won’t receive any more messages (something… someone prompted from behind). I said thank you and put down the receiver. Now I was dead sure that it was a friend of mine playing a prank. I rang up Khanna and asked him to come over. He refused. I took the car, stormed out of my house at 9.30 PM and went straight to Khanna’s place. I brought him back to my place and we went to a park nearby. While walking towards the park, I messaged the girl some detailsof her number (which Khanna got from Montu). She still refused to reveal her identity. I kept sending more messages, just to intimidate her. I asked her about the prompter but she replied back in a poetic fashion

No one lights the bay, sir
no hand guides the way
no body prompts me

I knew it then that I was Niharika cause she writes poems n all (though I still don’t know who wrote that message). Finally we reached the park. After a few more messages, I decided to call her up. I called, she refused. I called again, she refused again. She sent me a message saying that she wasn’t interested in speaking to me and that she hadn’t caused any harm. I knew that she was a little scared. So I called up again. This time she picked up. I told Khanna to ask her what she wanted. Khanna did what he was told. I kept quiet. Then suddenly, while speaking to Khanna, she used the F word. That’s when I got pissed. Now here’s someone, bugging me and on top of that swearing. I lost my cool. I snatched my cellphone from Khanna and shouted at the girl at the other end

Now listen bitch… I’m gonna fuck you, fuck you bad. I’m gonna screw you and your whole life. Just don’t fucking play and just tell me who the fuck are you……!!!

I kept shouting and swearing. Khanna joined in. Then Khanna stopped and snatched the phone from my hands. He said hello… the girl replied. He voice was wavering. She sounded scared and shaken. She asked us to calm down and listen to her. Now I was angry but Khanna kept his cool. He started walking and talking to the girl. I followed and kept shouting. Everybody in the park was looking towards us. Some bhaiyas siiting there looked at us as if we were freaks. Well actually, we were behaving like weirdos shouting at the top of our voices at 10 in the night. We talked for around 22 minutes and since my calls were discounted it costed me around 10 bucks. Throughout our talk, we kept pestering her to reveal her identity or the identity of the prompter. But she refused and simply told us that her name was Sonia Chauhan and that she stayed in a PG (which we easily knew was a lie). She kept laughing and whispering something to her friends. I asked her where she got my number from and she gave a stupid reply that she had bought a second hand sim and that my number was saved on it by the name of some SARIN. What a lame, lame, lame thing to say!!!

The most impressive dialogue that I maroed was

Don’t think of me as Rahul Sarin… think of me as Sarin; the poinsonous gas… I’ll POISON YOUR LIFE!!

I’m not even sure if anybody else besides Khanna heard it… but WTF!! We were rude but decent. No cheap remarks… no nonsense because we knew it was a stupid, harmless prank. Now, the dumb chick suggested in the start that we meet up. Now, I just kept pestering her to meet us. She was like I’m a little skeptical n all after the way you guys shouted at me. I kept assuring her that I won’t slit her throat in public.

So we ended the call and headed back to our respective houses. I looked at my phone and there was this messaeg from Niharika asking me how college was? Another clue. Khanna told me that he would message the girl and convince her to meet us. After sometime, I got another message from that girl telling me

You have a lot of numbers. I know ur smart… just wish ud be decent too

Now I didn’t quite understand what she meant by that. Phir bhi, just like that, I apologised and then quickl messaged Khanna and asked him what messaged he had sent. This time around, Khanna lost his temper and was like – WTF, I even apologised… now I’m gonna make her life miserable. I told him to calm down and then proceeded on to message Sonia.

Decent i am. N frm wat i knw… Khanna din msg nethn indecent. He wudnt do dat. He evn apologised. So where does the indecency creep in frm. U knw wat, i cudve seriously abused u on the fone. I had a simple talk wid u. I din pass ne CHEAP or INDECENT comments. Most of the guys wudve stoopd to dat level. If this isnt decency then wat is?

She replied back by saying that she had touched the wrong nerve and now believed that I was decent. In the next message she asked me if I seriously wanted to meet her.

Now this was a fucking difficult question to answer. I was tempted at first but then I replied

Hehe… Girly chill 4 a while. Lets get 2 knw each odr btr 1st… Reach a comfrt level… Then watevr u want…

She replied

ok.. so now you’ve started trusting me. hope no identity proofs required now?

I replied

Trust is 2 big a word. M givn it a simple shot. N bout ur identity… Ya, u seem 2b sum kind of a shadyprankstr… Bt WTF, i askd u a couple of times n ur replies werent consistent. Bout dat guy, ur frnd, ur SIM. So m layn that identity thng dwn 4 a while. Forget the convo frm b/w. M takn it as a nrml chat wit an unknwn persn.

She spilled the beans then. She told me that she was Niharika’s senior in AIL and since she’s not a pranskter at heart, she couldn’t execute the plan well. We chatted for a while and I told her that they were somewhat successful because I couldn’t wake up this morning for college.

I woke up in the morning and found that my fone had 7 new messages. One of them was from Niharika telling me that I fell for her stupid prank and the other one was from Sonia Chauhan a.k.a UNKNOWN saying gnite. I messaged both of them. They replied and I chatted with Niharika’s senior for a couple of hours before Niharika messaged me and asked me to stop flirting with her senior. She even invited me to CCD-35 becuase Sonia Ma’am wanted to meet me. Yeah… right! She kept messaging me and telling me that she’s cute looking and blah blah. I told her that I couldn’t promise anything since Dad keeps me busy with some work or the other. And that was what happened. I couldn’t go and meet the prankster. I publicly admit that she has a killer voice… sexy… no doubt bout that. Now the excitement’s died down. No more messages, no more calls. Me and my stupid curious, investigative self. Saala thode din aur chalne deta to mera kya jaata!!!???? Now its back to the same rickety college bus, back with those same freaks, back to studying… and course lying (you know I don’t study!!!). I am a fucking spoilsport.

If someone wants to waste their money and bug me… reply and tell me. I’ll post my wireless number on the blog. My life seriously lacks excitement and I’m not fucking ashamed to say it !!

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